Thursday, December 13, 2012

Be inspired.....

For anyone who has ever wondered about the motivation behind our desire to adopt, I believe this video says it all......I Like Adoption


Thursday, December 6, 2012

A Christmas nightmare in India

"Police and child advocates broke padlocks and busted down doors in a surprise raid of a sweatshop in India, only to find a group of children imprisoned who had been forced to make Christmas decorations.
The children, as young as 8 years old, were kept in rooms approximately six feet by six feet and had been forced to work up to 19-hour days making the decorations, which advocates believe may have been intended to be sold on the cheap in the United States."

This is from an ABC News headline today.  Every time I hear stories like this, my heart breaks.  All that I can think of is that this may be my son or daughter, literally.   

We have finished everything in the adoption process that is in our control.   Now, we are waiting on India to respond.  I am trying to wait patiently.  I am trying to enjoy the good life with my family I do have while I wait.  I don't want to miss out on right now because I am so consumed with getting my children home.  But there is definitely an urgency that propels my heart and it takes discipline for me to focus on the now.  Stories like this make it nearly impossible.

Would you take a minute today and pray with me for the children of India?  Two of them will be mine someday, but all of them hold a place in my heart.  

Monday, October 15, 2012

Finally moving forward!

Driving home from the store today, Aaron and I were discussing the fact that it seems like nothing is happening with our adoption.   The whole concept tends to feel etherial some times, like it is still a dream for someday.  Those of you who have been down this road can testify that it is a "hurry up and wait" type of journey.  There are times when you are cramming to get all the paperwork done, and then you mail it off, and you wait.........  But, just when you feel like nothing is happening, you suddenly move forward!

About two hours after our conversation, our mailman delivered into my unexpecting hands our I800a Approval Documents!!!!  This paper states that we are approved by the Department of Homeland Security to adopt 2 children from India.  This is a big deal for us as our original submission was sidelined as they took a closer look at our finances.  We did our best to be honest and yet make ourselves look as good as possible on paper, gathered all of the backup documentation that was requested, had a home study addendum written, and sent off our second package on October 9th with hope and a prayer that it would be enough.  I never expected that our answer would arrive so soon!!

We are now at the point where we will be able to receive "referrals".  A referral is when the adoption agency sends us the file of a child/children who is available and meets the parameters of our home study (age, medical needs, etc.).  

So now the waiting becomes more intense, because some day really soon I am going to open an email and see the faces of my new babies!!!!!  I can hardly contain myself!!!!!!


Monday, September 17, 2012

Labor pains?


I think one of the hardest parts about adopting is the lack of something tangible.  When we had our children there was evidence that they were coming.  My wife showed that there was life in her belly.  I could feel tiny feet kicking if I rested my hand on her.  There were sonogram pictures and sounds of heartbeats.  We knew a child was coming!  There was proof.

Right now there is no proof.  There is only hope.  I have no pictures of the child that is coming to me.  There is no physical evidence that I am going to be a dad again.  The best I have is a folder of paperwork that suggest the potential for new life.  It makes it hard not to grow discouraged somedays.  I would like just one concrete thing to hold onto.

Then I open my bible.  It tells me that faith is evidence.  It tells me that hope doesn’t disappoint.  It reminds me that God is so in favor of adopting that He took it up Himself.  It tells me to act like Him.  So even though this can seem hard and it is work to push forward in the process despite discouragement, I can have confidence that it will be worth it in the end.  Maybe days like these are just labor pains.  Last time I checked, that is evidence that a child is coming.  I feel better already!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

An open letter from your big brother....


If you are my brother or sister,  I CAN’T WAIT to meet you! Your going to LOVE your new family. You will love your new house,and we have a TON of stuff that you probably never heard of or experienced.  I cant wait to meet you in person.  I’ll see you in a few months.                            

I know we never met but I know you’re out there.  It feels like you are here but your not.  We will wake up in the morning sun and eat breakfast together.  Then we will get our backpacks and walk out of the front door and onto the sidewalk.  We will hold hands and cross the street into school.  I know you mite hate it at first but I know you will love it.  If not, I’ll be there too.  When we get home,we will watch a movie or TV and eat dinner.  Then I’ll sit and you will sit next to me.  We will read the Bible or a story.  Then we will say goodnight and head to our beds and listen to music and go into a deep sleep.


Love your big brother,

Noah


Please donate some money for my little brother or sister.  It would make me and them so happy.  I feel like I could just hold their little hand and say I love you.

Friday, September 7, 2012

We Need Your Help (the humble truth)....


Dear Friends and Family,

As you know, Julie and I are in the process of adopting from India.  God challenged us to grow our family outside of the traditional manner and we have dived in the deep end.  We are going to adopt siblings, allowing two or more kids to have a family again together.  We are so excited to bring them home, to make them a part of our life.  But there are some hurdles to overcome.

For the last seven years, I have been the pastor of Riverside Church and then Open Source Church.  During that time, I have never taken a salary, trusting God to provide for us as we pursued Him.  And He did.  He has taken such good care of us through the provision of family and friends.  We are without need.  Unfortunately, the Department of Homeland Security does not understand this answer and would like proof of income to allow us to move forward with the adoption.  They are requiring that I show some kind of salary before we can proceed.  This has not been an issue before.  We were approved by our state social worker, our adoption agency, and the preliminary review in India, but now we are stuck.  Our I-800A has been "flagged" and we are sidelined.  

This puts me in the awkward position of having to ask for help.  If it were simply for me, I would refrain but, since two or more lives hang in the balance,  I am humbly asking that you would consider supporting us.  What I am asking is that you would donate to Open Source Church, which would allow me to take some salary.  Our website, www.theosc.org,  allows you to give via paypal and the monies would be used directly to meet the federal government required specifications for our adoption and from there would be used for the adoption itself, as it will require a bit of money to get them home.  We feel like this is a good way to go about it as you will receive tax credit for donating to a church, I can take salary, and these kids can join the family.

I’m asking that you would pray about donating to this cause.  I cannot express enough how much it would mean.  Older kids, and siblings, rarely get adopted.  We are willing!  We just need help!  If you can give, I pray that you would.  If you cannot, pray for us that God would supply this need.  I know that He is able and I am trusting that He will provide.  Thank you so much for considering helping us!  I’m excited about working together to change lives!

In Christ

Aaron

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The basics .....where, why, when, how, etc.


So...in what is now rather obvious...we are in the process of adopting.  We started this journey more than a year ago and are still pushing forward to the goal of bringing home two new kids to be a part of the Fraley family.  We thought that we would blog about it so we could share the experience with everyone, post updates, and maybe even get a little help.  Since we have been at this for a bit, I thought a little recap might be in order. So here goes...

Let’s get it started... Julie and I already have two amazing kids!  As they have grown, we realized just how much we love being parents and thought we might level up and have some more.  Turns out Julie had some health problems and having children naturally was off the table.  It wasn’t a huge leap for us to turn to adoption.  Julie’s dad was adopted and she had spent several years working in orphanages in Latin America, so this was right on target for her.  I was excited about the idea of growing our family and helping out children that didn’t have one.  So we turned to adoption rather quickly.  After Julie’s father went to be with Jesus, she received enough inheritance to start the process, and here we are.

Why India?... We originally thought we would adopt locally.  After exploring that option, we came to believe it could be a detrimental situation based on some of the laws that currently exist in our country.  That sent us looking internationally.  Most nations have specifications that parents must meet in order to adopt.  For instance, we looked at adopting from Haiti but their government will not allow it if you have any natural children.  The nations that Julie and I were most qualified for were Thailand and India.  Since my closest friend, Suresh, is Indian and had helped us appreciate the history and culture of India, it seemed like a no-brainer to choose that country.  After prayer and some confirmation, we have moved forward with a commitment to expand of family from there.

Doubling Down... One of the things that you discover quickly when researching adopting , is that people don’t want older kids...they want babies.  If you add issue of siblings, kids who want to stay together after losing their parents, it is next to impossible to find homes for them.  Well, Julie and I love doing the impossible.  We already had babies, so we didn’t feel like we would miss out on that experience.  We had hoped to eventually add more than one kid to the family, so getting two at once seemed like a good thing.  So we agreed to adopt a sibling group, kids that wouldn’t get a shot are now going to be a part our family.

So that’s where we’re at.  We are still juggling some paper work and some finances, but we believe God will help us bring our kids home.  We are certainly ready!  

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

An open letter from your dad


Hi Sweetie,

I know we’ve never met yet, but I’m your dad.  That’s kinda weird, I know, but it’s still the truth.  You don’t know me, you’ve never seen me, you may have stopped believing that I exist, but I love you and I am your dad.  It’s strange to love someone that you have never seen, but that has been my experience on this journey to find you.  I’ve never held your hand, never kissed your cheek, never heard your laugh, or seen your smile, but I’m your dad and I love you!  

I can’t wait to bring you home!  We’ve got an awesome home ready just for you!  It’s filled with fun and silliness, hugs and kisses, soft beds, tons of toys, and all the food you can eat.  Anything you need, I will get you.  I will help you heal.  I will help you discover how amazing life can be.  I will see the awesomeness inside of you and help you see it too!  I will be be your dad!

We have awesome plans for when you get here!  I will teach you to swim in our pool.  Your brother and sister will teach you to do flips on the trampoline.  Did I mention we have a family prepared for you?  You will never be alone again!  We are going to take trips and have awesome vacations.  I will do my best to allow you to experience everything that is good in life. I will be your dad!

So sometime soon, when the trivial things that are keeping us apart are swept aside, I’m coming to get you and we will never be apart again.  Until that happens, know that my heart is with you.  Don’t be scared.  Don’t worry about anything.  I will be there soon.  I’m your daddy and I love you and nothing will keep me from you!  I can’t wait! 

All my love,

Dad

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

An open letter from your mom

My sweet little one,

It is night time here and as I look up at the bright moon, I wonder.   Are you on the other side of the world looking up at this same moon and wondering too? I know it's kind of cheesy, like Fivel the mouse in American Tail or something, but it really is how I feel.

Are you wondering if you will always be alone?  Are you wondering if you will ever know what it is like to be a part of a family?  Are you warm enough?  Are you hungry?  

I am wondering.  I wonder what it will take for me to find you.  Whatever it is, I am ready to do it.   I wish that somehow you could know that I am here, loving you already and dying to hold you in my arms.   I don't know anything about you yet, but I know that you are mine, and that is enough.  Enough for me to stay awake at night dreaming of you.  Enough for me to give everything I have in order to bring you home where you belong.   Enough for me to know that I already love you, for all your strengths and weaknesses, for all your good times and all your hard times.  I love you because God gave me you.  

I am trying hard to be patient, but I am ready for all of this paperwork to be over so that we can begin our new life together.  Until then, I will be storing up all of my hugs and kisses for you - I hope you're ready for a flood of love!!

Love,

Mom