Saturday, November 22, 2014

BIG NEWS! Finally moving forward!!


We have great news to share with all of you.  We received the ARC approval AND the NOC approval – BOTH IN ONE DAY!!! We are so incredibly excited! These two steps are very significant for a few reasons:

  1. The orphanage director will now tell Abby and Autumn that they have a family and are going to be adopted.
  2. Our “match” (or referral for those adoption lingo experts) with Abby and Autumn cannot be taken away at this point. It will not fall through. There are no objections at any level in either country's government.
  3. We are allowed to send Abby and Autumn a letter and scrapbook introducing ourselves to them! We are super duper excited about this part – it will be their first ever Christmas present!!

So, I am sure your next questions are “what's next?” and “when are they coming home?”. Here are the steps left in the process:

  1. Court – Next up is the court hearing where a judge will grant guardianship of the girls to us. This is where we become a family! They will officially be Fraleys. Our case will be filed in court sometime in the next two weeks. Then we will wait for the hearing to be scheduled. Sometimes only one hearing is necessary, but some judges have 2 or even 3 hearings before they rule on an adoption case. We are praying for one and done!
  2. Passports – After court, we will need to wait for the written court orders to be issued. These written orders will be used to file for Abby and Autumn's passports. Passports can be done in as quickly as 2 weeks, but sometimes can take months. You just never know. Every family's story is different.
  3. Travel – Once Abby and Autumn's passports are ready, we are free to go pick them up!!

We are really really close now! This means we need to kick our final stage of fundraising into high gear. Our agency estimates that we will need $10,000 to completely finish the adoption from this point. That includes all travel costs. We currently have about $6,000 raised/saved. So, expect to see lots of fundraisers from us in the near future and pray for lots of overtime to be offered :)

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Waiting on the world to change....


I wish we had some wonderful news to tell you, but really our adoption status is basically the same. We are still waiting for final state approval (ARC) and final federal approval (NOC) before our case can go to court. We know that our documents have been reviewed at least twice and both times the answer was to request more documents, including a fully updated home study with all the related documents and background checks updated as well, which cost us over $1,000 to complete. That hurdle has been overcome and we are praying that the third time is a charm. Any day now we could hear the news that we have been waiting on for over 7 months. 7 months!! Several families have received their ARC approval in the past few weeks followed by the NOC only days later and are now moving on to court. This is so exciting! We believe this means our turn is coming soon.

Speaking of other families, can I just take a minute to tell you all how thankful we are for the other adoptive families that we have met through this process?! It is a long and difficult road, but Aaron and I share it with some of the most amazing people. The logistical knowledge that a family two steps ahead of us can share is priceless and the emotional and spiritual support that comes from a team of moms and dads all praying together for their children, the adoption process, the orphanage directors, the state committees, finances and fundraising.... I honestly don't know how I would have made it this far without them. And the funny thing is – I have never met any of these people in person, but we are knit together so tightly in our little online community. Ooohhh but we will meet in person one day! Our daughters have no idea yet that there is a family pursuing them. They do not know that they will soon be adopted and leave the orphanage forever. They may even be broken hearted because they watch other children leaving and joining their forever families. One of those little girls shares a bedroom and a nanny with our Abby. She may leave the orphanage before Abby finds out she is being adopted. BUT, the cool thing is that us moms are connected and our girls are going to meet again. And this time, they can introduce each other to their families and their new brothers and sisters!! What a reunion that will be!! We have the privilege of knowing the families of at least 5 other kids who were with our Abby and Autumn in the same orphanage. What a comfort and support these kids will have in each other as they grow up here!

As the holidays approach, we find ourselves looking back to last year and remembering how you, our family and friends, rallied around us and provided the “ransom money” that was needed to secure Abby and Autumn's adoption. We just wanted to take another minute to say thank you again. We feel so loved and supported and grateful. We know that you sacrificed to get us where we are today and your generosity did not go unnoticed. Oh how we wish you could have seen a faster return on your investments (LOL). We could have never imagined then, especially with the time constraints and pressure that was being placed on us, that we would still be waiting for our family to be united this holiday season. It seems crazy! But we sure do wait in good company. You have all been so wonderful in asking about the girls, praying with us, encouraging us, and just sharing in this part of our lives. The words “thank you” don't seem like enough, but please know that they are said with very full hearts and great sincerity.

One last thing - We were recently blessed with some new pictures of our daughters. As you all know, we cannot share these photos online, but we would love to show you the next time we see you, so be sure to ask us!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Deja Vu.... All Over Again

        Our adoption journey started out like everyone else’s.  We got a Home Study.  This is where a social worker from your state collects lots of information on you and the family to make sure you are suitable to be adoptive parents.  You get finger printed, background checked, fire inspected, medically certified, and personally interviewed to make sure you are on the up and up.  Since we were new at the experience, it took us a while to pull everything together but, eventually, we passed with flying colors.  That was two and a half years ago (this is what our English teachers called foreshadowing).

Two weeks ago we received some good news/bad news from our adoption agency.  The good news was that India was looking at our file!  That means we are heading into the final phase of our adoption.  We couldn’t be happier about this information.  The bad news was that they had decided that our home study was too old.  We needed to redo the whole thing.


There are no words to express how frustrating this is.  But we know from experience that anything worth doing has its share of setbacks.  We have jumped back into the process of getting a home study with more experience and it has been moving along much faster this time around.  We will get the last of the needed papers late this week or early next.  Our biggest holdup is the price tag that came along with the updated study.  It is expensive and we don’t have the money.  We are asking for prayer that God would faithfully provide once again.  Hopefully, that will put us back on track come October.  Thanks so much for remembering us in your prayers!  We will update as soon as we know what’s gonna happen next.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Update on the Wait

WE ARE DONE…sorta.  As of right now,  all of our paperwork in the United States has been submitted and approved and we have sent all the necessary documents to India.  We have done everything possible on our part to ensure that our little girls come home to our family.  After three years of applications, notaries, doctor appointments, financial reports, and background checks, it feels wonderful to be finished with our part.

That doesn’t mean we are finished.  Now we need to be approved through the India court system and that could take some time.  The courts review our documents and make sure there are no relatives that would want to take the girls.  If everything goes well, they grant us custody and, after securing their passports, we go and get them.  We are not sure how long this will take.  It is completely out of our hands.

Believe it or not, that feels like a good thing.  We are exhausted with wrestling through all that was required of us.  Now there is nothing left for us to do.  We simply have to trust the Lord.  That is a relief!  When there were things we could do, we felt responsible to make them happen.  Now we can put it in His hands and concentrate on other things that need to be done. And there is a list!

We are turning the house upside down as we rearrange bedrooms and prepare for two new additions.  Our daughters will be taking the biggest room because it is the only one that will fit all three!  My son gets the smallest, but is pumped because he still gets his own room! Julie and I are moving into the guest room, quite content to give up the master bedroom in exchange for some more kids.  It is gonna be a project!  

We also need to fundraise.... again.  While we have paid for all of the adoption expenses, we still need to finish raising money to get there and get them home.  We need to have around $10,000 to pull it off.  We have half.  So back to the fundraising grindstone.  We have several ideas that we will be offering soon that will allow anyone who is interested to help out.  You will find them here at our blog as well as links on our social media.


As we head into the last phase of this process, we want to offer thanks once again to all who have helped this dream become a reality.  Thank you for helping us get our girls.  It is a debt that is impossible for us to repay.  We’re asking Jesus to do it on our behalf.  Can’t wait for the day when I can write that we are all the way done and they are home safe and sound.  We are way closer to that day than ever before.  Trusting God it will be soon!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Eyes opened.

Eyes opened.

It is the most difficult aspect of adoption.

I’m hoping for the fairy tale story.  We travel across the world and sweep up two precious lives into our family.  We help transform them from poverty to princesses.  I’m a romantic at heart, so this ideal appeals to me.  And I hope to achieve it.  Oh, I’m not naive.  My family has an order and rhythm that we are about to disrupt by adding two strangers to our home.  There will be struggles and breakdowns, grief and anger, as we learn to be a bigger family.  But there will also be love and community, laughter and healing, and ultimately triumph.  With God’s help, I intend to get my “happily, ever after” for my girls.  Through the narrow lens of my experience, I believe I’m going to see my dreams come true.

But what happens when that lens isn’t so narrow?

That’s the problem.  You don’t just get to see the kids you are bringing home.  You see all the others who are left behind.  

I read a story today about a little boy who is unwanted.  A little boy who is a victim to circumstances he didn’t create.  A little boy who wants a family.  I’m crying as I write this because I want him.  We could make room in our family for one more.  But I can’t take him.  I’m fighting so hard for the two that I can get!  

If I’m honest, I wish I didn’t know his story.  Sometimes I wish we never started this journey because I was so blissfully blind.  I didn’t have to confront what we are doing, or not doing, to these children.  But my eyes have been opened and I can’t pretend that I haven’t seen.  I have to do something.

So today I’m advocating for Anthony.  Could this be your boy?  Could he fit in your family?  Could you give him a happily ever after?  Could you support him financially?  Could you give to help another family bring him home?  

It’s painful to open your eyes.  The darkness is much more comfortable.  But when we see, clearly see, what is in front of us, we will do something about it.  I’m inviting you to join me and make a difference today.  

Click here to donate to Anthony’s Adoption Fund or, better yet, to start your journey in bringing your son home!


http://reecesrainbow.org/63525/anthony

Thursday, February 6, 2014

The Waiting Game

“Now we play the waiting game.  Aww, the waiting game sucks!  Let’s play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!”  ~  Homer Simpson

Homer is right - the waiting game sucks!  But that’s what we are playing here at the Fraley house.  It seems to be the most common aspect of the adoption process.  We have moments where we are scrambling in a panic trying to get paper work done or money raised that are followed by looooooong periods of waiting.  It can be soul crushing because I want my daughters.  I don’t want to wait.  But I don’t have much choice.

People have been asking us for a update.  We’re waiting.  That’s it.  We are waiting for the U.S. to approve our I-800 forms which will classify the girls as immediate relatives.  We are waiting on India to process the NOC, a no objection clause that prevents adoptions from occurring when a relative might step in.  We have no idea how long these things will take.  And when they are approved?  More waiting!  India has to process the adoption through the court system.  Guess what that results in?  Ding, ding, ding!  More waiting!  Then we have to apply for visas and passports for the girls.  More waiting anyone?  It’s hard to imagine an ending.  I was impatient when Julie was pregnant.  That was a long nine months!  We are going on three years here. Three!  Years!  We want them home so badly.


Homer was right about another thing. (Betcha didn’t know there was so much wisdom on The Simpsons?)  When the waiting sucks, you gotta play something different.  So that’s what we are trying to do.  We are beginning to prepare the bedrooms for the girls to get home.  There’s painting and cleaning to be done.  We are trying to scrounge up furniture make an amazing place for them to call home.  Julie and I are starting a diet and exercise regiment.  I need to drop some pounds before I get on the plane and pull a Kevin Smith.  We are learning some Hindi so we have some basis for communication.  We’ve even starting to look at some practical changes such as feeding a family of seven.  It’s a lot.  It’s keeping us crazy busy.  Even slightly overwhelmed.  But it’s sooooooo much better than just waiting.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Definitely a miracle

I think we have a too rigid definition of the word miracle.  If it’s not water into wine or blind men seeing, then incredible events cannot be labeled miracle.  I would disagree.  I think miracles are super-natural, that is events that go above what we normally experience in the everyday world.  They can be moments where God bends the laws of physics (He invented them.  He can use them anyway He wants to) but they can also be moments where common experience is superseded by something extraordinary.  With that as my definition, I have something amazing to tell you…

We just had a miracle!

Due to some unforeseen circumstances (see previous posts), we found ourselves in a financial nightmare.  We needed to make the final payment to the country of origin for our daughters and we were thousands of dollars short.  We had exhausted our personal resources and yet were so far from what we needed.  Our friends and family were ridiculous in their generosity, yet we still couldn’t met the amount.  The last few weeks have been ones of anxiety and prayer as we waited to see if any more money would come in. 

Here’s the miracle part:  it did!  All of it!  Every penny we needed to send was donated in the last five days!  We officially can make our final payment and move forward with the adoption.  We are wiring the money to our agency today and it will start the court process that will end with two little girls being a part of our family!

And that’s not all…

The rapid giving we received in the last few days has gone above final court costs.  Our next hurdle in the process is traveling expenses and in-country fees.  This is another significant amount of money that we hoped to raise in the next few months as our case passed through the court system.  However, due to the largesse of our friends and family, we are more than halfway funded for that as well!  Wow!  More than enough!  What would you call that?  A miracle,  perhaps?

Julie and I have no words to express our gratitude for all that has been given.  We feel the depths of your generosity in our hearts and will never forget it!  You have helped save two lives and have blessed us by helping to bring our daughters home. 


A final word about miracles.  While our definition about what constitutes a miracle may be too rigid, our understanding of the originator of miracles cannot be.  Only God does miracles.  He often uses people to accomplish them.  Thank you for your willingness and kindness in being a miracle to us. I know God will bless you for this incredible act of love